Orphans & Vandals: I Am Alive and You Are Dead

And there it is, that feeling of discovery, of genius borne, genius devouring the fuse of its namelessness. Music has its geniuses, of course, most of whom are dead or lost it eons ago. I can't recall being alive for an explosion like Al Joshua, the creative force behind Orphans & Vandals. Maybe it's his urgency, his honesty, his sexuality . . . whatever his stuffing is made of, the musical result is daggers scalding, impaling you with the gloriously ugly series of events that is Life. It's chaotic, offensive, feverish, addictive. It's pretentious. It's affected. That's the only way it could be so blisteringly real.

5/5 - Easily one of the best albums of the year so far.






www.myspace.com/orphansandvandals

A Busy Week

And a good one during which to resurrect this bloodless music blog. Monday saw Hatcham Social delivering - finally - their debut album after two years of demos, singles and EPs.

For those present during the long pre-album build-up, only six of 11 songs will be new. Even so, You Dig the Tunnel, I'll Hide the Soil is a brilliant record. An almost-perfect pop record, styled with the same dirty jangle of guitars as Josef K, spiced with the cheek and whimsy of Lewis Carroll. They did rework a few old songs, most notably "Superman", currently (and perhaps forever) my favorite track from the album. Other old songs were left as-is, which worked wonderfully on the former b-side "Penelope (Under My Hat)", but not so-well with their second single "So So Happy Making". Not that it's a bad song, by any means. But it feels out-of-place here. A bit tinny and washed-out compared to the glowing saturation of the rest of the album. I can't help but wonder why they chose not to rework that one . . .

Besides that, however, You Dig the Tunnel is solid. And, frankly, that is just a minor aesthetic-continuity misstep that most people will either not care about or not even notice. The song itself is still catchy as hell. So the entire album is, as well. These songs tie together elegantly, creating the illusion of a shorter running time than the already-short 35 minutes. No doubt that will ensure repeat listens.

And on Tuesday morning, promptly at 12 am, the Horrors ended the count-down on their website with a video of the lead single from their upcoming album, Primary Colours. As suspected, their sound has evolved from the garage-punk of their debut. I never would have guessed the staggering extent of the evolution, however. The intro to "Sea Within A Sea" begins dark and lurching, the outro makes me remember fondly the flying dog-dragon of The Neverending Story, and somewhere in the middle Faris sings. No really, no growling at all. It's definitely better than my description makes it sound. Check it out for yourself:



-
Get "Sea Within A Sea" free by signing up for their mailing list at www.thehorrors.co.uk (click on "The Horrors" in the bottom right corner).

New Singles from Late of the Pier and These New Puritans

Late of the Pier will release double a-side single Space and the Woods/Focker on May 19th. The single will be available in 7", 12", CD and digital formats. Each of the formats offers different b-sides and remixes. You can check out the details for each, and purchase one (or all four) here.

"Space and the Woods" was the band's first single and was first released last year. It's being re-released, one hopes, to pad the way for a full-length or EP. "Focker" makes it's debut here, however, and what a focking doozy it is . . spastic, robotic, lurching with effects and still a catchy new wave song at its heart. Whether it was intended to or not, the video channels the DIY, dork-chic of the first videos to grace MTV's airwaves. And the band, in more ways than one, resembles Devo most especially.

Listen to "Space and the Woods".

See the video for "Focker" here:





Swords of Truth Out Now

The second single off These New Puritans' debut album, Beat Pyramid, is finally available for purchase. One of that brilliant records' stand-out tracks, "Swords of Truth" takes cues from early rap and infuses them into the band's own style of twisted post-punk. While not as palatable as lead single "Elvis," this song has a riotous energy and distinctive sound you won't soon forget. Its beats are serrated, its lyrics cryptic and oh-so-precocious - they almost sound like a direct challenge to music reviewers. If that's the case, I can only say: guys, there's nothing to be defensive about.

4.5/5

Buy it from RecordStore here.

~~~

A quick update on the new Electricity in Our Homes' single: Its release date has been pushed back to June 2nd. Nothing else has changed, and the still-secret single should be posted on the band's MySpace page any day now.

Bryan Scary's Scary New Album

Beware . . .

"Brooklynite Bryan Scary’s latest album is too too. Too what? Too everything. Leaving off not far from the style of his solo debut album, The Shredding Tears, an album which showed flashes of Scary brilliance, I can only assume Bryan Scary decided he needed more of everything. So this time around, his touring band, the Shredding Tears, has recorded the album with him. And musically, he’s injected every sort of imaginable sound into any lulls lasting for more than two seconds. The end result is as mind-scrambling and ridiculous as his musical moniker."

- Read the scintillating rest here.

Updates: The Horrors, Nine Inch Nails, EIOH & Lightspeed Champion!

Horrors Whittling Prospective Track List

The distressing wait for the album appears to at least be at the end's beginning. The Horrors are currently choosing which of their 30+ new songs will make the album, and are set to go into the studio in June to record them. The band is heading in a slightly new direction, according to frontman Faris Badwan, though he promises the new album will still appeal to fans of their 2006 debut, Strange House. Word is the band is moving away from 60s garage into more fully gothic, synth-driven stuff.

NIN Releases New Album Free

Unlike the last album, this one is totally free. Also unlike Ghosts, this is not a four-disc, instrumental experiment. Ten tracks long, The Slip picks up where Year Zero left off. It's yours to download for free in virtually any file format you want here.

EIOH To Release New Single

Minimalist post-punkers Electricity in Our Homes will release their first single since their 2007 EP The Shareholder's Meeting, on May 19th. The single will be released on 7" by Waks Records, and will be posted on the band's MySpace profile prior to the release date. That's soon folks!



Lightspeed Champion Previews New Track

What a tease Dev Hynes is! He posts this miniscule video snippet of a new track with the title "New Album". New album? What? When? Where? And now you know as much as I do. Updates hopefully on the way soon . . .

I'm DJing Otto's Shrunken Head!

I'm DJing a couple upcoming dates at Otto's Shrunken Head - the first, Wednesday, April 30th and then again on Wednesday, May 14. I'll be playing everything from the Zombies to Baroque Bordello to the Horrors to Blitzen Trapper. With special emphasis on our lovely Brits.

Come out, kick back, drink up, and dig the sweet sweet sounds of Access: Interzone. You won't hear this stuff anywhere else in NYC, guaranteed.

iLiKETRAiNS Go Hunting

"We Go Hunting," the latest single from iLiKETRAiNS' brilliant album Elegies to Lessons Learnt, is the most musically upbeat and pop-ish track from that record. But this, of course, is a bit like saying Linda Kasabian was the happiest and most well-adjusted member of the Manson Family since she only drove the getaway car and didn't really mean to kill anyone. (Side note: She didn't technically kill anyone, just watched.)

Despite a somewhat airier sound than the other tracks, the opening lyric on "We Go Hunting" sets the tone: "I curse the day I ever set foot in this god-forsaken town." And the rest of the song goes on to talk about Samuel Parris, a Puritan minister during the Salem Witch Trials (and morally-incongruent father and uncle to two of the child accusers).

iLiKETRAiNS don't make the mistake Parris did with simplistic, black and white thinking, however. "We Go Hunting" is an empathetic portrayal: a father truly worried about his daughter resorting to the only method he thinks will save her. Or, conquer the demons before they conquer you.

All of this translates into a taut yet thunderous and haunting song. More than that, however, "We Go Hunting," like so many of iLiKETRAiNS' songs, highlights the tenuous relationship between fear and morality, between authenticity and cardboard selves. Man versus His Own Nature is perhaps the most critical conflict of all, for what could a man hope to accomplish when he himself is mis-aligned? But then it is probably more complex than that . . .

"We Go Hunting" will be released April 21 to coincide with iLiKETRAiNS' UK tour. If you pre-order with Record Store, a DVD version of the single will be included for free.

*View a timeline and read more about the people and events in Elegies to Lessons Learnt here.*

www.myspace.com/iliketrains

www.iliketrains.co.uk

Mystery Jets Revamp Sound with Twenty One

Sorry for the wait, folks! Couldn't post the review until it appeared first on PopMatters.

The sirens that rumble in the opener of Twenty One, the sophomore album from Eel Pie Islanders Mystery Jets, serve as more than alarms that signal the start of the album. They hint at an ongoing change within the band.

Last year, Henry Harrison, lead singer Blaine’s father, stopped doing live performances indefinitely. He was largely influential on their debut Making Dens, sculpting the band’s sound and writing the majority of their songs. For Twenty One, though, his influence has dwindled significantly, and the resulting divergent path of the Jet’s newest album becomes apparent after listening to even the first few songs.

- Read the rest of the review here.

Listen to Samples:

- Veiled in Grey
- Hideaway

Jets' Soph Release To Be Next Monday (3/24)

Whew! You're away from the computer for one day, and this is the stuff you miss. Mystery Jets announced yesterday the release date for the UK release of sophomore album Twenty One -- next monday! Quick turn around, that one. No complaints here, though.

So if you're in the UK you can buy Twenty One almost anywhere in any format: Banquet Records, HMV, Amazon, iTunes, you name it. I would suggest getting it from HMV or Play.com, as both offer free shipping.

Album review will be up ASAP, along with, fingers crossed, dates of the American release and tour. Meanwhile, check out this live version of "Young Love," played at the Duke of Uke, a ukulele and banjo emporium in London:

www.myspace.com/mysteryjets

Need to Know: 1000 Robota

Most days you roll out of bed not expecting anything out of the ordinary. Most days you're right. This is not that day.

I was doing a bit of routine Myspace wankery -- clicking and reading and listening to friends of friends of friends' profiles. And I happened upon a band profile whose music shot electrodes through my headphones, down my aural passages and into the pit of my heart.

Hamburg post-punkers 1000 Robota are to blame. They mix sharp melodies and staccatoed percussion with intense German vocals for a truly enthralling sound. I have no idea what they're singing about, yet every song is curiously hypnotic.

Somewhat shockingly, the band is helmed by 17 year olds Jonas Hinnerkort and Sebastian Muxfeldt, and 18 year old Anton Speilmann. That the trio has already carved a sound so particular, and plays it with such confidence, surely foreshadows great things to come.

They've just released a five-track EP, Hamburg Brennt, on Tapete Records. The title track is as catchy as it is manic, speeding furiously for two minutes before coming to an abrupt halt. "Sachen Erleben" is another gem, especially intriguing for its complex arrangement and dark bass line.

The end track is a cover of "Wir Bauen Eine Neue Stadt," originally by early 80s German avant-rock/post-punk/dadaist rock band Palais Schaumburg. It is basically a contemporary take on the song, minus the details (no trumpet!) that make the original so damn cool. Still, it's a decent track, and I always get the warm fuzzies when bands pay tribute to their ancient influences.

Highly recommended.


Hamburg brennt - 1000 Robota


For fans of: Palais Schaumburg, Electricity in Our Homes, Nelson, Wire, Gang of Four.

www.myspace.com/1000robota

An Evening of Confectioned Revelry with teletextile

Mmm. I love cake. I love the Cake Shop. The brilliance of bringing together pastries, old vinyl and hard liquor is quite on par with the invention of motion pictures and the Internet. Well, almost.

On Saturday night, the Cake Shop added chamber rock group teletextile to their list of goodies. The band's characteristic lush arrangements and Pamela Martinez's indulgent vocals proved to be a smart addition to the line-up.

To get to the dungeon-dark basement of the Cake Shop, one must descend a steep, concrete stairwell. Inside, the room thumps to a grittier vibe than the cheery pastry and music shop above it. The spare room is dotted haphazardly with seating against one side of the wall and a bar on its opposite. The only lighting comes from the glowing red of the bar with its transmogrified, faux fireplace log sconces, and on the stage, where dozens of white Christmas lights illuminate the band from above, casting weird shadows.

As if playing on those shadows, teletextile opens their set with a hypnotic hum of synths before launching into "Ampm Two." The song is long familiar to me now, but the band plays it enthusiastically -- hungrily, almost, and the deep reverb of bass and drums pulses inside me and I'm hooked. Martinez's live vocals are as crisp and soul-shaking as her production vocals; a too-rare occurance in today's era of studio polish so thick even bad vocals can be transfigured into mediocrity.

"Heartquaker" and "Girl" followed suit, with the version of the former being especially energized and spectacular. Changing it up on the fly, teletextile then banged out a cover of Depeche Mode's "Enjoy the Silence." Despite Martinez's claims that she didn't know the keyboard part, nothing seemed out of place musically, and it was a fun way to lighten the atmosphere. Still, it lacked the intense spark of their original stuff, and I would have preferred to hear another original in its place.

The next song more than made up for it, however. "Gesso" was a delightful surprise, as I had not heard it before. Lyrically rich and intriguing, it is probably their most pop-oriented, radio-friendly song. This was the highlight of the show for me, because I wasn't expecting it and because the melody is just so damn enchanting.

As shows at the Cake Shop are apt to be, this was a short one. "Distant Places" closed the set as the sixth and final song. Its steady climb to an eventual eruption of lyrics and sound was a perfect closer to a well-rounded set.

On the whole, none of the songs were black spots, but the Depeche Mode cover was a disappointment simply because I almost always prefer to hear original works before covers. I do realize, however, most people like an upbeat atmosphere during shows -- and the crowd seemed to enjoy it, after all.

teletextile are working on two new songs after a creative explosion ripped through their practice session the other day. They were so new, Martinez said, that they weren't ready for debut Saturday night. Perhaps they will be ready for their next New York show on March 19, at Brooklyn's Trash Bar. Fingers crossed . . .

Sample MP3s:

- Gesso
- Ampm Two



www.myspace.com/teletextile

Need to Know: Teletextile

Playing Saturday, March 8th @ the Cake Shop! 8pm Sharp!

This Brooklyn quartet plays lush chamber rock and uses lead singer Pamela Martinez's unique vocals and penchant for clever arrangements to create a sound both timeless and totally different than anything you've heard. The band's minimalist-to-indulgent musical arrangements provide the perfect playground for Martinez's vocals to regale emotion, whether climbing to an epic peak or snaking softly through layers of piano, violin, guitar, beats, harps and accordians.

Teletextile self-released their debut album, Care Package, in 2006, garnering comparisons to Sigur Ros and Bjork -- a reviewer from the Boston Phoenix even went so far as to call Martinez "the American Bjork." If forced to compare them to their musical contemporaries, elements of Final Fantasy, Eluvium, Dresden Dolls and, yes, Bjork, are apparent. Still, the end result is much more than an amalgamation of borrowed parts:

Perhaps their best song, "AMPM 2" is a brilliant track that will probably go unnoticed by a large percentage of the population because of its complexity. The vocal arrangement is complicated and can be difficult to grasp initially. At the same time, this is what makes the song so intriguing. The elegantly swaying melody, layered with repeating noises and clicks, sewn together loosely with sharp bursts of violin, neither overwhelms the vocals, nor loses its relevance alongside the complex vocal arrangement. It provides instead the perfect background for a reflective soliloquy, which is ultimately the vibe "AMPM 2" harnesses; this song would not be out of place in a new Broadway show.

"Safer in a Down One" is like an ode to Eluvium with its gentle build up of piano over a steady hum of strings and white noise. It fades into "Safer in a Down Two," keeping the same mood musically, but adding Martinez's fervent vocals for an arresting three minutes of song.

At the moment, Teletextile is working on new material for a follow-up and touring like mad. This Saturday night, in fact, they're playing the Cake Shop on the Lower East Side, alongside indie-pop veteran School of Language (David Brewis of the now-defunct Field Music). I'll be there to do a live review, so stop by and check them out if Teletextile sounds like something you'd dig.

If you haven't been to the Cake Shop yet, I can't recommend it highly enough. Part pastry cafe, part music shop, part live music venue with a fully-stocked bar. It caters mostly to local indie rock bands, and is open until the wee hours of the morning. Jesus. What else could you need on a weekend?


***

www.teletextile.com

www.myspace.com/teletextile


"AMPM 2" video:

Hatcham Social's "So So Happy Making"

I thought the peak of tweedom had been reached when I heard "Penelope (Under My Hat)." Then I listened to "So So Happy Making," and my ears bled tulips and I felt compelled to hug everyone I met and call them "sweetness." Fortunately, I was able to counteract that moment of deviance and settle back into my normal mindset by listening to Magazine's "Permafrost" immediately afterwards.

Not that "So So Happy Making" is a bad song. Quite the opposite, in fact. Jangly guitars, sparkling melodies and strategically-used xylophones make this great fun to listen to. Possible twee side-effects are effectively diminished by the single's b-side, "Berlin," a bass-driven song with enough attitude to blacken even the most colorful of flowers.

Hatcham Social are officially hugely important in music's current state of affairs. Expectancy compounds with each release the band offers, and so far their irrepressible pop sensibilities and intelligent lyrics have yet to disappoint. Their b-sides are better than most band's bread and butter songs. Enjoy their steady climb toward a full-length release, there may not be another like it for a long time.

***

Purchase the "So So Happy Making" single with "Berlin" b-side from Loog Records.

Watch the video:



www.hatchamsocial.co.uk

www.myspace.com/hatchamsocial

Mystery Jets Woo With "Young Love"

Mystery Jets have released the video of their upcoming single, "Young Love," specifically to coincide with Valentine's Day. The track, featuring guest vocals from folk rocker Laura Marling, is the first official single for the Jets' sophomore album Twenty One, due out this spring (end of April, perhaps?)

"Young Love" will be released on CD/7" on March 5th. Pre-ordering the value bundle will net you all three formats (CD, two different vinyls), plus the gatefold vinyl will be autographed by the band. All for £4. That's a steal, folks. I just got mine, in fact . . .


Tracklistings:

CD - Young Love/Uber Liebe Geld (Flakes Dictaphone Demo)

7" Gatefold - Young Love/Metal Soul

7" Standard - Young Love (Shoes Remix)/Girl Shaped Gun


I'll have a proper review for the single closer to the release date. In the meantime, enjoy the visually-intriguing video:

www.mysteryjets.com

www.myspace.com/mysteryjets

iLiKETRAiNS I do I do I do . . .

"We Go Hunting," the latest single from iLiKETRAiNS' brilliant album Elegies to Lessons Learnt, is the most musically upbeat and pop-ish track from that record. But this, of course, is a bit like saying Linda Kasabian was the happiest and most well-adjusted member of the Manson Family since she only drove the getaway car and didn't really mean to kill anyone. (Side note: She didn't technically kill anyone, just watched.)

Despite a somewhat airier sound than the other tracks, the opening lyric on "We Go Hunting" sets the tone: "I curse the day I ever set foot in this god-forsaken town." And the rest of the song goes on to talk about Samuel Parris, a Puritan minister during the Salem Witch Trials (and morally-incongruent father and uncle to two of the child accusers).

iLiKETRAiNS don't make the mistake Parris did with simplistic, black and white thinking, however. "We Go Hunting" is an empathetic portrayal: a father truly worried about his daughter resorting to the only method he thinks will save her. Conquer the demons before they conquer you.

All of this translates into a taut yet thunderous and haunting song. More than that, however, "We Go Hunting," like so many of iLiKETRAiNS' songs, highlights the tenuous relationship between fear and morality, between authenticity and cardboard selves. Man versus His Own Nature is perhaps the most critical conflict of all, for what could a man hope to accomplish when he himself is mis-aligned? But then it is probably more complex than that . . .

View a timeline and read more about the people and events in iLiKETRAiNS' songs here.

www.myspace.com/iliketrains

www.iliketrains.co.uk

**Edit to post: Silly me, I just now have found out this single release has been pushed back to April 21, to coincide with the band's European tour. Alas. I shall leave this up and repost around that time.

Deerhunter Side Projects (Free Downloads!)

The front-men of Atlantan super-indie bands Deerhunter and the Black Lips have formed a new project together called Ghetto Cross. Bradford Cox (Deerhunter) and Cole Alexander (Black Lips) had talked about collaborating before, and decided to put the idea into production last month.

Ghetto Cross' first release will be the single "Dog Years," on 7" by England's Drug Racer Records. Cox wants to complete recording before Atlas Sound's upcoming tour (more on that below), which begins Feb. 16th. A rough version of "Dog Years" was recorded two weeks ago on Jan. 26th. Listen to it here.

Meanwhile, Bradford Cox's solo project, Atlas Sound, gears up for its debut album's release on February 19th. The album, Let the Blind Lead Those Who Can See But Cannot Feel, features 14 songs which, according to Cox, don't quite fit into Deerhunter's sound. Want to preview that sound for yourself? No need to wait for the album, Cox has posted the Orange Ohms Glow EP on Deerhunter's blog for free downloading.

Recorded just a few days ago from Feb. 2nd - 5th, the EP contains none of the songs From the upcoming album. Stand-out tracks include "Activation" and "Coriander," which Cox says is an "attempt at making a Casino Versus Japan song." While it doesn't sound like Casino Versus Japan, it is an excellent Atlas Sound song. The final song of the album is an interesting take on "Valley of the Saroos," originally by Joe Meek and the Blue Men. Atlas Sound trades in the glassy starkness of the original for a richly warm sound that feels more spaghetti western than it does sci-fi.

www.myspace.com/bradfordcox

http://deerhuntertheband.blogspot.com/

New Single from Blood Red Shoes

A pressing intensity drives "You Bring Me Down," the third single (and the band's first ever CD single) from Blood Red Shoes' forthcoming album. But despite its lyrics, the song does anything but bring you down. Utterly buoyant, the song is considerably less visceral than their last single "I Wish I Was Someone Else," though that song was a bass-soaked savage with hints of mental instability, so comparisons are probably irrelevant.

Still, the things that are similar are inherent to Blood Red Shoes' sound: catchy melodies, crisp and creative rhythms, post-punk guitars, vocals that range from just above a whisper to yells pulled from the gut. The two-piece creates a sound much larger than what you'd expect, and Laura-Mary Carter's lead vocals nimbly toe the edge between vulnerability and aggression in "You Bring Me Down."

The single was originally released in a different version on 7" back in November of 2006. This newer version is, like the band claims, "heavier and louder." And, in an era where bands can form, tour, put out an album and disband in less than a year, "You Bring Me Down" gets a fitting release just before the debut album's release in April.

***

"You Bring Me Down" will be released tomorrow in the UK, and Feb. 6th in the US, on CD and also on two different 7" pressings. If you pre-order in time from RecordStore, you can get a limited-edition signed 7".

***

New "You Bring Me Down" Video:




www.bloodredshoes.co.uk

www.myspace.com/bloodredshoes

Need to Know: Nelson

No, not the bleach-blonde, heavy metal Brothers Nelson of the early 90s. But the French post-punk quartet Nelson of Now. They put out their debut, Revolving Doors, in 2006, but I heard them for the first time just a few weeks ago.

Nelson channels Gang of Four with their rhythmic intensity, overlapping vocals and lyrical depth. But they add to that electronic embellishes, heavier bass and a denser sound overall. It's comparable to the Norwegian electro post-punk of 120 Days, but Nelson is tighter with more pop and less post-rock -- you won't find any 7 minute songs here.

No news of a sophomore follow-up yet, but the band is touring central Europe as I type, so here's hoping a new album is on the horizon. In the meantime, here's a sample MP3 and video:

Hear and download "The (Over) Song."

"You Can't Stop Thinking About It" vid:



***

www.myspace.com/nelsonrock

Charlatans to Release New Album for Free

Brit rock masters The Charlatans will release their new album, You Cross My Path, for free beginning March 3rd. The album will then be available in CD and vinyl formats starting May 19th, on Cooking Vinyl records.

Ever prolific, this is the band's 10th studio album since releasing their epic debut, Some Friendly, back in 1990. Europeans will get first crack at hearing the album live as The Charlies jet from Portugal to Belgium throughout the month of February.

To download the album, simply go to xfm.co.uk on March 3rd. But to get you in the mood, the first single from the album, its namesake, is already available to download. Dig it at The Charlatans website, in the bottom right corner of the home page. Here's the album's full track listing:

1. Oh! Vanity
2. Bad Days
3. Mis-takes
4. The Misbegotten
5. A Day for Letting Go
6. You Cross My Path
7. Missing Beats (of a Generation)
8. My Name is Despair
9. Bird
10. This is the End


Preview lead single "You Cross My Path" right now:

The Naked Truth About Vampire Weekend, Or, Nice Boys Playing Banal Music

Vampire Weekend
Vampire Weekend
XL Recordings

Armed with a song Rolling Stone listed as one of the 100 best of 2007, Vampire Weekend are poised to invade hearts, music stores and all mediums of media with this week’s debut of their self-titled album. Every member of the Brooklyn-based band is a Columbia University grad, and, aside from their degrees, they’ve got both the fan base of rabid college students and the steadfast support of hipster indie blogs to prove it. They’ve been featured in The New York Times, the Washington Post, the Boston Herald and Nylon Magazine. Fader.com interviewed them. They recorded a session with NPR. Countless blogs are already heralding their debut as one of the best records of 2008, and the tides of January have yet to die. So does the album live up to all the hype? Much like Vampire Weekends’ music, the answer is quite simple: no.

It’s frightening what monsters a cursory knowledge of music and an indiscriminate sensibility can cook up together. For all the hype, Vampire Weekend offers nothing new, nor exciting, nor even musically-interesting. Their self-described “Upper West Side Soweto” sound is really just simple, accessible pop, lightly tinged with African rhythms and reggae melodies.

Because of this, their music bears more than a passing resemblance to Paul Simon’s sonic-fusion on Graceland. I have to assume that this is the reason fans and critics alike have bought a seat on Vampire Weekend’s bandwagon. What they seem to be forgetting is Paul Simon could pen a song about doing his taxes and it would be ten times more lyrically imaginative and emotionally evocative than anything Vampire Weekend could ever write.

Further, it is insulting to bands that play Afro-centric rock extremely well. Bloc Party, Dragons of Zynth, and TV on the Radio (the latter two of which are NYC-based bands themselves) are especially active and relevant right now. And though people like to cite African music and Paul Simon as Vampire Weekend’s musical forebearers, their music just as often sounds like your neighborhood ice cream truck circling amiably around the block.

Lyrically, the band fares a bit better. The imagery they carve is sometimes even poetic: I see a mansard roof through the trees/I see a salty message written in the eaves/the ground beneath my feet/we are garbage and concrete [“Mansard Roof”]. The songs are peppered with obscure references: Oxford commas, Dalai Lamas, mansard roofs, cancer center Sloan-Kettering, Pueblo huts . . . the boys of Vampire Weekend are obviously well-rounded in their educations. Still, when these references are used as mere ornaments in the band’s recurring themes of unrequited love with keffiyeh-wearing, Louis Vuitton-clutching compulsive liars, it’s hard to take the intellectual-depth of these Ivy Leaguers very seriously.

“Mansard Roof” is Vampire Weekend’s least offensive song, perhaps because as the opening track, the listener has not yet grown weary of the the band's cloying and tedious sound. Lead singer Ezra Koenig’s vocals strike an interesting balance between Rufus Wainwright and Paul Simon, and tagging along are a basic reggae melody and sharp drums. Sure, it’s catchy. So is Tuberculosis.

Despite being Rolling Stone’s 67th-ranked song of 2007, “Cape Cod Kwassa Kwassa” is derivative tripe. Its three-note guitar line is so prosaic and irritatingly repetitive, it is difficult to imagine a person being able to sit through the full track even a few times; putting it on a “best-of” song list is truly laughable.

By far, the best pieces of instrumentation on the album are the orchestral chamber sounds that open “M79” and weave throughout the album’s prophetic closer, “The Kids Don’t Stand a Chance.” Even so, these deviations are too few and too slight to wipe away the muck of monotony surrounding them. Similarly, in “One (Blake’s Got a New Face)” the band introduces Atari electronic tones into their entrenched reggae pop. It’s a commendable idea to experiment with sound, but the result is truly horrific. It is forced and gimmicky, a prefabricated plastic nightmare pretending indie rock sentiments.

Still, as the hype suggests, there is a definite market for this kind of pop punk. Saccharine though Vampire Weekend is, many people will be sold for precisely that reason. Also important in today’s culture: the band presents an appealing image. They are good-looking boys. They wear dress shirts and khakis. And not only do they wear dress shirts and khakis – they wear them while playing gigs. And they’re Ivies. So they’ll procure support from a decent subsection of consumers, namely preppy university students and teenyboppers stuck in that weird limbo between Hannah Montana and Green Day. Not exactly the sort of fan base most rock musicians want. But, hey, they’ve hoodwinked a lot of people so far. They might not even have to get real jobs for another few years. Which was probably the point of the band in the first place, because in the end, they just sound like a bunch of frat boys pretending to be Paul Simon.

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You can slag off to Spin if you want Vampire Weekend mp3s. These two are much more worth your time, however:

Dragons of Zynth - "Breaker"

TV on the Radio - "Providence" (feat. David Bowie)